How to have a cooking date over video (with five easy recipes)

Cooking the same meal at the same time, then sitting down to eat it together, is one of the most satisfying long-distance dates there is. It fills an hour without feeling forced, you both end up with dinner, and it has the rhythm of a real evening together: chopping, chatting, a small disaster or two, and a meal at the end.

Here's how to make it go smoothly, plus five recipes that work well over video.

Pick the recipe together

Choose something you can both buy ingredients for where you live. This sounds obvious until one of you discovers that the cheese in the recipe doesn't exist in their country. Swap in local versions where you need to: the point is cooking together, not identical plates.

Share a shopping list

Write the list in one place you can both see, and agree on quantities. If you're in different time zones, decide who cooks lunch and who cooks dinner. A pancake breakfast in one city can happily be a pancake dinner in the other.

Set up the camera

Prop your phone or laptop somewhere it can see you and the counter, out of splash range. A cheap phone stand makes a big difference. Turn the volume up: kitchens are loud, and you'll be talking over sizzling pans.

• Start at the same time. Do your prep together (washing, chopping, measuring) so you're at the same step.
• Narrate. "I'm adding the garlic now" keeps you in sync and is half the fun.
• Let one person lead. Whoever knows the recipe better reads out the steps. Swap next time.
• Expect differences. Different stoves, pans and ovens cook at different speeds. Keep an eye on your own food rather than the clock.
• Eat together. Move the screen to the table. Light a candle if you like. This is the date part, so don't skip it.

1. Pancakes (30 minutes)

Flour, eggs, milk and a pinch of salt, whisked into a batter and fried in a hot pan. Easy to find ingredients anywhere, very forgiving, and flipping them on camera is entertaining. Make it a competition: whoever makes the roundest pancake wins.

2. One-pot pasta (25 minutes)

Pasta, a tin of tomatoes, garlic, an onion and whatever vegetables you have, all cooked in one pot with just enough water for the pasta to absorb. Fewer dishes, fewer chances to fall behind, and it scales well if one of you is cooking for flatmates too.

3. A simple dal (40 minutes)

Red lentils simmered with turmeric until soft, then finished with a tempering of cumin seeds, garlic and chilli fried in oil or ghee. Cheap, comforting, and the tempering moment, when everything sizzles at once, is very satisfying to do in sync. Serve with rice or flatbread.

4. Fried rice (20 minutes)

Best made with rice cooked the day before, so it's a good one to plan ahead. Fry vegetables and eggs, add the rice, season with soy sauce and finish with spring onions. Each of you can add your own extras: it's fine for the two bowls to look different.

5. Homemade pizza (1 hour 30 minutes, mostly waiting)

Make a simple dough together, then use the rising time to have a proper chat or play a game. Then you each top your own pizza. Showing off your toppings before they go in the oven is a highlight of the evening.

Something will burn, boil over or come out the wrong shape. That's part of it, and it's often the bit you'll both remember. A few habits help:

• Don't race. If one of you falls behind, the other can pause and talk.
• Have a backup. Bread and cheese counts as dinner if the main event fails.
• Laugh about it. The story of the time the smoke alarm went off mid-call will outlast any perfect meal.

If one of you is vegetarian, vegan or has allergies, choose recipes that work for both, or cook the same dish with a swap: lentils instead of meat, a gluten-free pasta, plant milk in the pancakes. You can also each cook a different dish and swap tips. The shared moment matters more than the identical plate.

A lovely twist is to teach each other a dish from your own family or home town. One of you leads, the other follows, and next time you swap. You'll learn about each other's childhoods and families, and you'll both have a new recipe to cook when you finally live together.

Cooking dates work beautifully as a monthly ritual. Take turns choosing the recipe, try dishes from each other's home towns, or work through a cookbook together. Keep a photo of each meal, and by the end of the year you'll have a collection of evenings to look back on.

If you're short on ideas for other evenings, our list of long-distance date ideas you can try tonight has plenty more.